Relationship Unchained

We had a fight yesterday. And I stole the car.

It seemed to come out of nothing. At the same time it was a fight that has been fought many times and that can't be won.

How I could be so easily thrown off centre by this—again? It was clear that he was stressed and dumping things on me that had nothing to do with me. Still, I couldn’t shake it off.

I NEEDED him to be different. It was “unfair." He ruined my perfect stated. I felt I needed to clear things with him or I couldn't move on with the day, but he asked for space.

As I was shaking and sobbing in pain that seemed too big for me, I saw that I had two choices. And they weren't "staying" or "leaving".

They were:

1. Cope via hardness, depression, resentment, go crazy, be in suffering for the rest of the day.

2. Take action, stand up for myself, make myself happy, take full responsibility, and let the chips fall where they may.

I just had to get out of the house and take care of myself. My productivity for the day had vanished in a second.

He said he needed the car to drive tools up and down to the cabin. I knew if I took it, he'd be so mad.

But I did it anyways. I knew he could use another car from the workers. I wasn't gonna compromise anymore what I knew was most important. I had to take care of myself because he wasn't able to hold me right now.

So I took out his tools. My girls and I jumped in. We were laughing and feeling naughty as we were "stealing" the car to drive two hours into town for shopping.

I never do that kind of that thing.

I don’t spend money on “unnecessary” things. Always responsible. Always together...

But I realized that part of me was still trying to be a "good wife" to him and that it was making me sick. I wasn't doing him a service either by keeping up the co-dependency. I saw I haven't been in my full power in the relationship lately.

As I was driving listening to "I am Death" by The Pretty Reckless I felt liberated. The kids and I had a great day. Because “Girls just wanna have fun!” It was medicine. I felt parts came back to me that I had left behind.

By the end of the day he had written a sweet message apologizing and owning up. Saying that he loved and missed me.

On my way back home, as I was rehearsing my speech in my head of what I'd tell him about "I'm my own woman" and "You can't do that to me anymore" it was obvious that this wasn't being in my power either.

I had just listened to audio bites from my coach speaking about relationship. Saying things with clear love. Yes, yes, yes, for sure... but how could I find this loving voice within while I was still incensed about having been "treated like this" and wanting to prevent it from happening again?

It was clear that it required a dying of the old way. It felt like a withdrawal from a drug. Taking full responsibility. Leaving the game behind—although I felt so right. And being ok with whatever consequences. I knew I had to lead with my full knowing, even if it meant losing him.

When I walked into the door. I said nothing. I said it with my body

Quiet, vulnerable, grounded into the centre of the earth.

I didn't need anything from him energetically in that moment. I really didn't. And he felt it. It transformed him too.

He apologized again for his behaviour as of late. He's been under a lot of pressure after taking care of mold reconstruction in our house for a year and a half. Tears in his eyes.

I was in total receiving and just said "thank you." I said he gave me a gift. It catalyzed the next in relationship. I haven’t been standing in my full power. That’s on me.

That knowing flooded through my body like dragon's blood. All my feelings were being grounded into the earth. Deeply rooted, straight, and tall like a tree. Unshakable.

I was clear. That I'd do what I know to do—with or without him.

That I can't rescue him (and he can't rescue me).

That I can't hold back anymore for his sake—and actually, it was for the sake of a distorted relationship pattern.

Only from that place we can be in real relationship.

I said "I'm not your wife anymore. And you're not to be a husband to me.

I don't want you to do things for me. Not like this. I want you to make yourself happy. I want you to be happy, not a martyr.

We're only to be lovers to each other."

He looked at me like he was standing in front of a goddess. He fell into me. We were unchained.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Join my VISIBILITY CHALLENGE while it's FREE! (This will be a paid program the next round).

As a recovering "good-girl" who's been trained to not be "too loud", not "inconvenience" anyone & not "embarrass" myself or others, I want to challenge myself for 11 days to be next level SEEN online—and I want to bring you on board of this party train!

I found the most EMBODIED TRANSFORMATIONS in my life have been in containers with other brave, like-hearted women who were done trying to act like normies.

Don't worry, I won't ask you to do anything extreme...

⭐️Let's just be a bit louder, where we're usually quiet (because we we too afraid of doing something wrong)

⭐️Let's take up a tad more space where we used to shrink & hide

⭐️Let's be a bit bolder where we'd usually hold back

11 Days of Prompts, Hacks, Transmissions & Community to Burn your Generational Chains & Be as Free as your Magical Little Girl Wanted to Be.

We'll replace:

🔥Self Doubt with Fun

🔥Feeling Alone with Doing it with other Brave Goddesses

🔥Being Ashamed with Being Unchained

✨WHAT IF after 11 days of committing to stop hiding & be VISIBLE—your life unfolds in unexpected, luminous ways you couldn't have planned even if you tried to?

✨WHAT IF others seeing MORE OF YOU, parts of you that you've been shying away from, resonating with exactly that vulnerable thing you finally shared [what a relief!], reaching out to you & sharing something they've never felt safe enough to talk about, and you bond for a lifetime?

✨WHAT IF just by the nature of your bold, authentic RESONANCE you signal to the universe that you're a match for new opportunities that are so unreal, you could have not even dreamed of?

✨WHAT IF this heals old core wounding that you're still carrying even after therapy, coaching, and shadow work—you finally realize that you're really ok just the way you are?

✨WHAT IF your visibility isn’t just about you—but the signal that awakens a spark, a permission, a movement in others that they've been waiting for?

Curious enough?!

Come on, what do you have to lose other than your nice held-together self-image & some not aligned followers? :-P

Email UNCHAINED to [email protected] for the link to private group.